Fried Egg Ice Cream with Minnow Sauce and Tripe

This is a gross fancy way to end any terrible meal! Make it for people that you hate or if you're just in a bad mood.
Prep time, 10 minutes. Cooking time, six hours.

Ingredients
6 large eggs
3 cups brown sugar
10 cups heavy cream
1 lb butter
12 medium-sized minnows
Big pile o' tripe
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup diced jellybeans

Directions: combine brown sugar and heavy cream in an old bowler hat. Stir it around for a while and shove it in the freezer. After three hours, take it out and then melt the butter to fry up the eggs in a large skillet. When the eggs are semi-charred, chop those suckers up and mix them in with the brown sugar-cream mixture. Let freeze for another two hours, until the whole thing is rock solid.
For the sauce: chop up minnows and tripe and throw into an old bucket. Slowly add the mushroom soup and jelly beans. Then take a blow torch and sort of start it on fire until it's viscous.
Serve the individual scoops of ice cream with liberal globs of minnow sauce. Your dinner guests will never forget it!